Fezboy! detests choral music. "Swing choir" makes him puke. . . violently. Helping out as the coatcheck boy here at the local performing arts center I’ve had to sit through 220 minutes of ear-bleeding pep-pap. The cultural equivalent of unflavored gelatin – that’s what it is. It also brings in the locals and I don’t mean locals in a friendly way. We’re talking Kentucky Waterfall mentality here. They’re so aftraid of being cheated by the Liberal Fraternity of Arts venues that they carry their wet coats and umbrellas into the house with them in order to avoid using the free coat check service. Well, there is tip jar on the counter I suppose, but it IS voluntary after all. No, they just don’t want to take the chance of accidentally supporting some kind of orgiastic, homo-friendly, leftist organization with their dollars.

Of particular note was the character who brought his video camera along in order to tape little Suzie’s slut-o-matic rendition of KC & the Sunshine Band’s Celebration. The sign outside states, "No videotaping of tonight’s performance allowed. Orders are being accepted for copys [sic] of the video being produced at tonight’s performance" or some such gibberish. Regardless, golf-shirt boy seemed to think he could just mosey on in with his camera.

However, the ticket taking folks would not let him through the lobby with the obvious, oversized, 1989 era video camera. His only option being to check it with me, coatcheck boy. Perhaps I did not look trustworthy this evening, or maybe he thinks there is a high demand for decrepit video cameras – who knows? At any rate, he was quite hesitant to leave the camera with me although he finally made the choice to see the show instead of clutch his recording device.

Fezboy! had the thought run through his head that he should, perhaps, have filmed his hairy, bare ass for about fifteen minutes while he had possession of the camera. Caution proved to win the day however, and no ass filming amatuer pornography took place. Fezboy! regrets this error now since golf-shirt-kahki boy failed to leave a gratuity in appreciation for his returned (unmolested) decrepit video recording device.