Dear Omaha

If I was really down for tropical living, I would live in that area of the globe designated as the tropics. Just thought you’d be interested to know this in the event you were acting all hot and humid for my benefit. Love, Nick

Dear Omaha

When you close a lane of traffic for road repairs, you should probably conduct those repairs in a timely manner. The roadway is for traffic, not for construction equipment storage. Love, A Concerned Motorist

Dear Los Angeles

I know how good a good Grand-Slam can be but I was curious to know whether you really need quite so many Denny’s restaurants. Can you elaborate on this for me? Love, Nick

Dear Los Angeles

I have been visiting your lovely city for a while now and I think you might have a small issue. I just wanted to bring to your attention the number of cars on your numerous roads. Perhaps you might consider some trains and the like. Love, Nick

Dear Los Angeles

I know you have rush hour traffic—all cities do. I wanted to know, however, why you insist on doing it on weekends too. Did you know other cities keep their rush hours on a Monday through Friday basis? Because, for the most part, they do. Just letting you know. Love, Nick